Official Statement from the dictator of the Italy WCB concerning the group stage draw for the upcoming European Football Championships in Ukraine and Poland.

I can explain. This morning, I went to the official UEFA website to look at their stream for the draw, but my desire to view this tasteful spectacle was dashed against the flying rocks from James Cameron's political science fiction blockbuster�Avatar (That was an enjoyable figure of speech, regardless of relevance.), as�some mental defective had hacked in and replaced the stream with a recording of the 2010 Eurovision song contest (won by Australia's Lena Meyer-Landrut). While it was delightful to relive this beautiful springtime of my life, I am unfortunately unable to give a scathing and bitter review of whatever madness Michel "anti-Italian-conspiracy" Platini conjured up on this fair morning/evening for European viewers. So therefore, I must record my thoughts on how I expect Italy to perform in their upcoming adventure in the land of Ukraine and Poland. As ever, I apologize.

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